Parental Control
by Safiyyah
Summary: What would happen if the cast of Death Note went on MTV's hit show "Parental Control"? Madness, that's what. Warning: Yaoi themes/Sexual themes/Cursing. CRACK.
1. Light Needs a New Girlfriend

**I DO NOT OWN DEATH NOTE OR PARENTAL CONTROL.**

**What would happen if the cast of Death Note went on MTV's hit show "Parental Control"?**

**If you don't know what the show is here is a summary from the website:**

**"Watch out, kids! Thanks to Parental Control, mom and dad finally have a chance to do something about that 'poor excuse' for a significant other that you adore! That's right, MTV is giving parents the chance to give the boot to the 'losers' their sons and daughters date! But will the suitors these parents pick really be a better fit? And, if they are, will their kids actually admit it?"**

**--**

**Hii. This is my first fan(crack)fic! Sorry if it sucks. **

**WARNING: Yaoi themes/Cursing/Sexual themes. Yeaah.**

**Enjoy! **

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-****-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-****x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-****x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-****x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x****-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

ACTION.

_Camera pans Soichiro and Sachiko Yagami. They are sitting on a couch, holding hands.  
_

Soichiro: Hello, I'm Soichiro and I'm a police officer.

Sachiko: I'm Sachiko and I'm a stay-at-home mother!

Soichiro: Our son Light brightens our world.

_Camera switches to Light Yagami. He is looking down, leaning against a brick wall with his arms folded. He then looks up at sight of the camera and smiles._

Sachiko: He's smart, he's good-looking, and quite talented!

Soichiro: But, there is just one huge problem...

Misa Amane: Hi!! _(Camera to Misa Amane in an open field. She attempts to do a cartwheel and falls. She gets up and quickly brushes herself off.) _Misa Misa loves you all! HEHE! _(She kisses her hand, blows a "kiss," and lunges toward the camera with open arms. Cut back to the Yagami's.)_

Soichiro: His GIRLFRIEND is a complete slut-faced-hoe-bag!

_Camera on Light and Misa hugging._

Narrator: This is Light. _(Camera on Light) _He's dating Misa. _(Misa kisses Light and Light looks stunned)_ They have been together for one year and Light thinks he's found the woman of his dreams! But..his parents think she is a total nightmare. So, mom and dad are setting him up on two blind dates they specially handpicked for him! Misa will have to sit with Light's parents and watch the dates. At the end of the day Light will have to choose between the new dates and his girlfriend Misa. Light's about to get a shot of...PARENTAL CONTROL!

_Cue I__ntro with music.  
_

_Camera on Light Yagami sitting on a bench in front of To-Oh University. He is wearing a very tight grey shirt and corduroy pants. He pulls down his shirt, gets up and walks toward the camera slowly. The camera moves backwards as he approaches._

Light: Hi, I'm Light and I'm "dating" Misa. This is pretty much a desperate attempt to get me away from Misa, thank you parents! _(He makes some hand gestures)_ I REALLY REALLY HAT-

_(Camera cuts Light and switches to parents)_

Sachiko: To put it simply, she should die. She is a huge ditz and has broken many priceless items in my home...

_Camera on Misa and Light cooking in the Yagami household.  
_

Light: Hey, can you pass me that huge-beautiful-priceless-heirloom-irreplaceable glass bowl?

Misa: Oh...this one!?11111 _(She grabs the bowl and drops it. There's a loud noise and glass shatters everywhere. Light facepalms.)_

Soichiro: She is also the stupidest damn thing to walk the face of the Earth.

_Camera on Light and Misa in Light's bedroom. He is helping her study for a history test._

Light: Okay, here's one. What is the official language spoken in Australia?

Misa: Uhhhhhhhhhmmmmm...Australian!?

_Zoom in on Light's disturbed reaction. Light facepalms. Camera switches to his parents._

Soichiro: I can't wait to get her ass out of here.

Sachiko: I hate seeing her repulsive face in my house everyday. We WILL sakujo you Misa.

_Camera pans across a long line of people waiting outside in hopes of being a potential date._

Narrator: Now its time for mom and dad to meet the potential dates for Light.

_Camera switches to a small room, with a couch and a chair parallel to each other. The Yagami's are sitting on the couch._

_Enter potentials. _

Ryuuzaki: Hello Mr. and Mrs. Yagami. Pleasure to see you again... _(Has one hand in pocket and shakes their hands with his free one. He saunters to the seat. Cue "Secret Agent Man" by Johnny Rivers) _

Kiyomi Takada: Nice to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Yagami. _(She smiles widely and sits down gracefully. Cue "King of the World" by Porcelain and the Tramps.) _

Teru Mikami: 'Sup, Mr. and Mrs. Yag. _(He sits in a slumped position in his seat. Cue "I'm a Slave 4 U" by Britney Spears.)_

Touta Matsuda: Heh, hello chief! _(He begins to sweat profusely)_ And hello Mrs. Yagami, you are looking lovely today. _(Bows slightly and stumbles to his seat. Cue "Sakura Kiss" by Kawabe Chieco.)_

Near: Yeah, whatever. _(He plops on the floor. Cue "Had Enough?" by Breaking Benjamin.)_

Sachiko: So, what do you do for a living?

Ryuuzaki: I am a detective. _(He scratches his arm impolitely.)_

Kiyomi Takada: _(Her smile disappears) _WHY THE HELL DO YOU CARE WHAT I DO? WHAT, YOU WANT ME TO PROVIDE FOR YOUR DUMBASS SON WHO'S PARENTS ARE GETTING HIM A DATE? (_She screams. The Yagami's are startled and look over at the producers fearfully. The producers shoo them to continue)  
_

Teru Mikami: I'm a lawyer and part time man-whore. _(Soichiro massages his temples in annoyance and Sachiko looks rather pleased)_

Touta Matsuda: I'm a police officer! Yeahhhhhh!! _(He pumps his fist into the air and Soichiro looks annoyed, again.)_

Near: Don't care. _(He sighs in boredom.)_

Soichiro: Er, moving on. My son is a hard-worker. When he comes home from a hard day at school, what would you do to make him feel better?

Ryuuzaki: I..._he_ would bake me a cake and we'd devour it together, of course.

Kiyomi Takada: _(She has calmed down) _Why, I'd give him a nice massage to relieve all that tension! _(She smiles again widely.)_

Teru Mikami: I'd sex him up. _(He gives a thumbs up)_

Touta Matsuda: Aw...I would let the poor boy relax. Then I would...er, make a lovely dinner. Then I would make delicious desert! Then...I would give tuck him in bed around 10:00 p.m. and read him a bedtime story!

Near: Um..just to put it out there, I really dont want to be here. Anyway, I really wouldn't care.

Sachiko: My son's girlfriend is a TOTAL dimwad. We would like someone of equal intelligence for Light, who has an IQ of 190. What is your IQ?

Ryuuzaki: 190, actually.

Kiyomi Takada: I WOULDN'T TELL YOU MY FUCKING IQ IF WE WERE THE LAST HUMANS ON EARTH AND YOU NEEDED MY IQ TO SURVIVE!! _(Complete silence)_

Teru Mikami: 69. _(He winks at Sachiko. Soichiro begins to get angry.)_

Touta Matsuda: Heh...95.

Near: Huh? Oh, 185.

Soichiro: Rightttttttt. Now a difficult question. What is justice to you?

Ryuzzaki: _I_ am Justice.

Kiyomi Takada: My, my, a very intellectual question. Why, Justice is when you think of something that is "just." _(She smiles yet again, and folds her hands on her lap in a prayer-like manner.)_

Teru Mikami: WELL..the answer is simple. Kami-sex.

Near: "Justice is the concept of moral rightness based on ethics, rationality, law, natural law, fairness and equity. A conception of justice is one of the key features of society. However, views of what constitutes justice vary from society to society and person to person."

Sachiko: OKAY. That is enough. Thank you. It was nice meeting you all.

Ryuuzaki: Well, it was my pleasure Mr. and Mrs. Yagami. Good luck.

Kiyomi Takada: I'LL KILL YOU ALL! _(She points at everyone in the room and her eye twitches) _I KNOW ALL OF YOUR NAMES, BITCHES. I GOT THEM SHINIGAMI EYES. _(She makes a dramatic exit)_

Teru Mikami: I've had enough of this shiatttttttt. "I don't need a man to make it happen. I get off being free. I don't need a man to make me feel good. I get off doing my thing." PEACE BITCHES. WESTSIDE. _(Does the westside symbol and walks out making obscenities.)_

Touta Matsuda: Awww, it's over? BYE CHIEF! _(Glomps Mr. Yagami) _Bye Mrs. Yagami! PICK ME _(He skips out)_

Near: Oh it's over_. _Don't pick me, I was forced to do this. Bye! _(He scurries out of the room)_

_Exit all potentials._

_Camera focuses on the Yagami's. They are searching through a book filled with Polaroids of the potential dates. They review their notes and discuss their decision. _

Soichiro: Ok. _(He flips to a page)_ This guy is perfect for Light. _(He points to a page)_

Sachiko: Well if you choose him.._. (Flips pages) _I'll have to go with this one. _(She points to a page) _He's definitely the one.

Soichiro: Well, I think we've made great decisions. I hope Light agrees.

Sachiko: Me too, dear. One step closer to FREEDOM. Lets get out of here.

_Cut to commercial._

--

Yeah well...that was amusing to write. xD

Constructive criticism would be nice. Thanks!


	2. Daddy's Choice

Daddy Yagami choose a potential boyfriend for his Lighty-kins.

"Parental Control" has some really corny lines, so I tried to celebrate that in this fic.

Enjoy xD

--

_Back at the Yagami household, Mr. and Mrs. Yagami are sitting on a couch in front of the T.V. Misa and Light are sitting on a a small sofa nearby. Misa is holding tightly onto Light's arm and Light is staring at the door, waiting.  
_

Narrator: The date Light's father chose is about to arrive. That means Light will have to go out with another person while Misa stays at home and watches the date with his parents! Let's see how it goes...

Misa: Ok. I'm going to put this short and sweet. _(Light clearly isn't listening) _LISTEN TO ME LIGHT!_ (He turns toward her)_ You will NOT touch, kiss, play, talk, or have fun with ANYONE today!

Sachiko: I'ma touch YOU with my fist if you don't shut up.

Light: Calm down Misa, I'm not going to do anything drastic.

Misa: YES YOU ARE! The other night you slept with my best friend!!

Light: Yeah but that was _last_ night.

Misa: Oh, right. Silly me. I love you anyway!

_Doorbell rings._

Soichiro: There he is. You're going to love this guy, Light.

_He goes to answer the door._

_Enter Near._

_In a cut screen, Soichiro speaks about his choice._

Soichiro: Well, I thought this guy would be good because he possesses some of the same qualities as Light's. He's smart, good-looking, young and mysterious.

_Back at the Yagami household._

Near: I clearly wasn't interested in doing this. (_He mutters under his breath) _I'm going to kill Mello for telling me this was a free puzzle giveaway..._ (He shakes his fist to the sky) _DAMN YOU MELLO!

Misa: WHA-WHAT...IS _THAT? (She points at Near, covering her mouth in horror) _THAT IS A _CHILD! _ARE YOU A SICK PEDOFEEL? LIGHT CANNOT SERIOUSLY BE GOING ON A DATE WITH THIS UGLY...SHEEP!

Near: Oh my she knows her farm animals.

Soichiro: Shut yo slutty mouth.

Misa: GOSH, I HATE THIS SHOW! _(She beings to sob)_

Near: Alright, let's just do this. The producers are waving their arms frantically so that we hurry up and get going. I'm kind of hungry and we get to see a free movie.

Light: Sure, lets go.

_Camera on Light and Near walking toward a limo. In cut screen, Light speaks his thoughts._

Light: When I first saw Near, I wasn't sure what to think. He's really young but, hey, I guess I don't mind. I've dated girls younger than me. He seems to be nice. Actually _(He puts his hand on his chin, pondering) _now that I think about it, he reminds of someone I know quite well...

_The Yagami's and Misa are left alone to watch the date progress._

Soichiro: Let's see how this goes. _(Turns on TV)_

Misa: Yeah, let's see how atroshish this goes.

Sachiko: Wow, you're a dunce with fake hair, breasts, nails, and fake intelligence!

Misa: And you have an ugly husband!

Sachiko: You ARE an ugly husband!

_The daters enter a movie theater. They are alone. _

Near: _(Boredly) _Want popcorn?

Light: Uh sure...what movie are we going to see?

Near: Transformers.

Light: Sounds fun! I like Shia LaBeouf.

_Near buys some popcorn and leads Light into the movie theater. They are alone._

Light: That's pretty great that we get this whole place to ourselves...except for those cameras. _(He looks around, examining where each camera is placed)_

Near: Yep. _(He stuffs his mouth with popcorn)_

_They sit in the middle of the theater next to each other. The movie begins. Near's eyes are glued to the screen._

Light: Ahem. _(He looks around and turns slowly toward Near, who is not paying any attention to him) _Hey, you have nice eyes.

Near: Shhh. _(Eats more popcorn)_

Light: _(Firmly)_ _I said_ you have nice eyes!!

Near: _(Annoyed) _Listen Light, you're not going to get me to like you. You are not cool, so don't act like you are. You can't even dump your own girlfriend without help from your parents. You are a sorry loser. _(Pause)_ Oh, and I don't like men. So, shut up and let me watch the damn movie!

Light: _(In a sultry voice) _Wow. _(Begins to sweat profusely) _ I like young feisty boys! You don't like men? I bet I can change your mind.

_Back at the Yagami household..._

Sochiro: My, my, Light seems to really be attracted to this Near boy.

Misa: _(Sniffs) _LIGHT!! WHAT IS HE...DOING? HE JUST...OH MY GOD. HE...HE...is...is...OH MY...Noooooooooo Lighttttttttttttt! HIS MOUTH!! IT IS NOW CONTAMINATED. HEYYYYYY HE DOESN'T DO THAT WITH ME!! WHY LIGHT...WHY!!

Sachiko: Awwwwwwwwww...look at them! How sweet. I knew Light was talented in many things...but even that?

Misa: _(Sobs) _I CAN'T WATCH!!

_Movie ends. The couple walks out. Light has a satisfied smirk on his face and Near walks out quite disheveled.  
_

Light: Well that was a lot of fun Near. I'm sure it will be_ oodles _of merriment to go on a second date with you. Peace. _(He purses his lips, makes a kissing noise and struts away)_

Near: _(Is in shock) _He is godly.

_Back at the Yagami household. Light enters. He is glowing.  
_

Soichiro: Ah Light m'boy, you made me proud out there! _(Smiles and winks)_

Misa: I cannot believe you!! YOU &# 2&# NEAR IN THE (#&(# AND THEN 2(#(#!!

Light: Don't worry Misa, we didn't do anything. You didn't see anything. _(He looks into her eyes)_

Misa: Oh. _(She becomes entranced)_ Whatever you say Light! I love you anyway. Hehe.

Sachiko: ...But you even saw...

Soichiro: Sachiko, there is no reasoning with her.

Sachiko: I understand.

_The doorbell rings._

Sachiko: Well, there's my guy. Your Dad's pick might have been okay but this one here is the winner! You'll love him, Light.

_She goes to open the door. _

_COMMERCIAL._

--

Lulz, Light turned Near gay.

This wasn't the most exciting chapter, but I promise the next one will be better. Buahah.

Who will be Sachiko's choice o?

If anyone has a good idea for the next dating place you can say it in a review. Thanks. )


	3. Mama's Choice

Hereeeeeeeee'ssssssss Mama Yagami's choice.

And the madness ensues.

Enjoy.

--

_Sachiko opens the door. _

_Enter L._

_In a side screen, Sachiko speaks about her choice._

Sachiko: I chose L because he is very intelligent and seems to relate to Light in his own special way. Soichiro knows him well and was hesitant about my choice, but whatever. _(Shrugs her shoulders)_ Light is in for a fabulous surprise.

Misa: First a sheep, now a panda? Is this some sort of circus?

Soichiro: I don't think pandas are in circuses.

Sachiko: Nor are sheep.

Misa: Really? Pfft. Wait, don't we know him? Ooh! Is that…

Light and Misa: _(Simultaneously, with a tone of surprise) _L?

L: Good Evening Mrs. Yagami and Chief Yagami. _(Drags himself over to where Light and Misa are sitting. He hovers over them) _Hello Light, Misa.

Misa: Hm, so you_ are_ gay? UGH. GET AWAY FROM LIGHT! I KNEW YOU WERE A PERVERT! I SAID IT ALL ALONG! _(She spits at L's feet)_

Sachiko: _(Bows slightly) _I apologize for her behavior, L.

_L puts his hand on Light's shoulder, kindly._

Misa: What the heck? Don't you touch him with your long, dirty, man-loving fingers! _(She smacks his hand off) _

Sachiko: _(Glares at Misa) _Mange du merde et meurt, pute!

Soichiro: _(Inquiringly) _You speak French?

Sachiko: I dated a French-man back in high school. He would always say that to me. I only realized what it meant until_ after_ he broke up with me…

L: _ (Dryly) _Ow. I believe we should go now. Light, if you would be so kind to follow me…

Misa: _(Whispers in Light's ear) _Whatever you do…think of me!

_Light gives Misa a strange look and then reluctantly follows L outside, without a word. In a side screen, Light speaks his thoughts._

Light: When L first came in, it took me awhile to wrap my mind around why he was there. Then I realized this was his way of telling me he liked me. _(He pauses) _Well, hey, I have always thought he was cute in a weird kind of way.

_The daters head toward the limo. L escorts his quiet date inside and follows after him._

_At the Yagami household…_

Sachiko: Here it goes! _(Turns on the T.V.)_

Soichiro: _(Sighs) _I don't know if I can watch this. My boss with my son…it's just wrong on many levels.

Misa: How do you think Misa feels about this?

Sachiko: No one even remotely cares.

Misa: We are not talking about remote controls…stay on topic!

Sachiko: _(Turns to Soichiro) _Is it possible for someone to be this stupid?

_Light and L enter are led to the top of a building. At the top, there is a table with a lit candle, and two seats at its sides. The top of the building looks out to the bustling night-life of Japan, and the two men examine the premise with honor. A waiter shows them their seat and they sit down._

Light: _(Folds his arms and crosses his legs)_ So L, you finally caved in?

L: _(Seductively) _It appears so. You know I could no longer resist you.

Light: _(Snorts)_

L: I'm serious.

Light: _(Softly) _Oh?

L: Yes.

_The waiter comes over and takes their orders. There is a moment of silence._

Light: _(Runs a hand through his hair) _Well, um, you look nice tonight?

L: _(Staring into Light's eyes evilly) _Thanks. As do you.

Light: _(Coughs nervously) _Thanks.

_Back at the Yagami household_

Misa: _(Points to the T.V.) _Look how awkward and boring this date is.

Sachiko: Oh come on, it's a nice date. You never do anything like that with Light.

Misa: You mean he never does anything like that for me...when he should be!

Sachiko: Sexist!

Misa: Can we not talk about sex now? And you call yourself a mother! We are on television for gosh sakes…

Sachiko: _(Smacks herself in the head multiple times) _

Soichiro: _(Pats his wife on her back) _It will all be over soon.

_Back at the top of the building…_

L: _(Stands up dominantly) _You know what?

Light: What?

L: Screw all of this. I can't take it anymore!

Light: Huh?

_L thrusts his hand across the table setting and pushes everything to the ground. He grabs Light by the collar and throws him onto the table, and jumps on top of him. Light's face is contorted into a mix of amusement and bewilderment. The lone waiter enters, then immediately exits after seeing the two men in their current position. _

L: _(In a deep voice) _I guess we're going to have to do this right here, right now.

Light: _(Panting) _D-do…what exactly?

_L raises an eyebrow._

_Back at the Yagami household…_

_Misa's eyes are bulging and her mouth is situated into a perfect "O" shape. Mr. and Mrs. Yagami are watching the T.V. intently._

Misa: _(Shouting) _GOODNESS ME MISA! Why is Light on the table? Don't they eat food on there? L seems to be doing something crazy! Light is screaming…he's crying too! I've never seen him cry before. He must be in pain…L is hurting him! Misa doesn't like this one bit! WHAT IS GOING ON?

Soichiro: _(Is sweating) _This is too much, even for me. I won't be able to face him on Monday…

Sachiko: _(Clasps her hands together in joy) _How lovely!! Okay Misa, do you know what _that_ natural act is? _(She points to the T.V.)_

Misa: _(Cries) _No! But I know I don't like my Light getting hurted by an ugly panda bear who is on top of him and doing mean things to his tender boyishness!

Soichiro: Wow. You're so narrow minded when you walk your earrings knock together…

Misa: What?

Sachiko: Ha.

_Light enters his house, walking a bit slower and limping slightly. Misa runs to hug him, and he cringes in pain._

Light: _(Through gritted teeth) _Not now Misa.

Sachiko: _(Nudges her son) _So you had fun, my sexy son?

Light: Well. _(Pauses to add to the drama) _It was the most amazing night of my life!

Misa: Wha-wha-wha-what? You were in pain the whole time. L is evil! EVIL!

Light: Misa, were you watching the T.V.?

Misa: Yes.

Light: Did you understand what was going on?

Misa: Yes, L hurt you. I saw it with my own eyes…

Light: The thing is…you actually _didn't_ see anything.

Misa: _(With sparkling eyes) _Oh, right! You always guide me the right way Light...

Light: _(Smiles) _Good girl.

Soichiro: _(Shakes his head) _I will never understand…

Narrator: Will Light stay with Misa? Or will he send her on her way for one of the new guys?

_COMMERCIAL._

_--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--_

You must be thinking "WTF?" after reading this chapter. I know I was while writing it.

Thanks a lot for reviewing, it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

I used **Nicha the Purple Ghost**'**s** idea of a restaurant 'cuz it seemed to fit the mood/I am lazy. Thanks!

Let's review what we learned in this chapter, shall we?

1. L molests Light because he's a hormonal maniac...who knew? (**Ude**, how'd you know?! xP)

2. I have no words for Misa.

3. Mr. Yagami is quite embarrased.

4. Mrs. Yagami is very accepting and loves boyxboy action apparently.

Anyway...Light's final decision will be in the next chapter! It might be a surprise twist...or it might not.

Stay tuned.

P.S.: For those who were wondering, "Mange du merde et meurt, pute!" is French for "Eat shit and die, whore!" Ah, such an expansive vocabulary Mrs. Yagami has...


	4. Decision

I forgot to add the last chapter to this story. I really had nothing better to do today. This is the final chapter. Thanks for reading. :D

---------------

_Camera on Light and Mr. and Mrs. Yagami on Light's bed. They are looking at pictures and pointing._

_The two potentials, and Misa, are seated on a couch anxiously waiting for Light to arrive. All three look very annoyed to be sitting so close.. When Light enters, they stand up simultaneously._

Light: _(Smiles) _Hey everyone. So I reviewed my choices carefully with my parents, and I have come to a decision.

Near: _(Gratefully) _Fantastic.

Light: Near, _(Turning to Near),_ I can see why my father chose you. You are an untainted young man, and have a laid back attitude. I like that. _(He gives a thumbs up)._ L, _(Turning to L)_ you are just a sexy man with the flexibility of a wild animal. I like that._ (He smiles) _Misa, _(Turning to Misa), _I really hate you. It's unfathomable how much I hate you. I can't wait for you to leave my life for good. You can go suck my—

Sachiko: _(Interrupts) _Light! Move on!

Light: Yes, yes, of course. Near, while it was a fun date, you are kind of boring. Sorry.

Near: _(Runs up to Light and licks his neck) _I've been wanting to do that for awhile. Call me when you're lonely. It's been fun, peace out. _(Holds up peace sign as he leaves)_

Light: Uh…alright then. Now we're down to you two.

Misa: Misa Misa knows Light was just kidding before. He'd never turn down Misa Misa Misa Misa!

Soichiro: _(Angrily) _DAMNIT, just say it already!

Light: OKAY. The one I choose…is

_Commercial Break_

Light: OKAY. The one I choose…is…_(Dramatic pause)_ MYSELF!

L, and Misa: _(Looking at each other) _Huh?

Light: I'm ASEXUAL! HAHA! Suckahhhhhhhhhhhhhsssssss. I was playing y'all. Now leave my house bitches, I'm going to go do myself.

Misa: WHA—WHAT????????????? _(Sobs)_ Light is a joker! Ha ha ha! Funny Light!

Light: No, Misa. No one is joking Now leave, bitch.

L: _(Sadly)_ I suppose I'll be going now. Farewell…

Light: L, It was fun, but you're nothing compared to LIGHT YAGAMI! _(Licks his hand and runs it through his hair)_

L: _(As he leaves he sniffs and a tear flows down his cheek)_

Misa: _(Punches Light in the face)_ Woah! Misa doesn't know where that came from. But Misa feels…good!!!!! Better than any time with Light..Yay!

Sachiko: _(Screaming) _HOW DARE YOU TOUCH MY SON LIKE THAT. YOU ARE RUINING HIS PERFECT FACE! _(Dropkicks Misa)  
_

Misa: OW! Misa knew Light's mommy was a devil in disguise!

Sachiko: EXCUSE ME? How do you know such big words, bimbo?

_Sachiko and Misa continue fighting. Light goes to his room to 'do himself.' Soichiro speaks to the audience.  
_

Soichiro: Ah, I think it is better this way. No annoying assholes hanging around our house, it's the perfect decision! MISSION COMPLETE. You have just witnessed…PARENTAL CONTROL.

_FIN_

_----------  
_

Were you expecting that? Didn't think so.

:DDDDDDDDDDDD


End file.
